Figuring some shit out...

K. so my big dilemma lately (more for the last two years) has been not being able to figure out what the f%#* I want to do... Not like, this thing or that thing, more like; coming to the point in my life where decisions have to be made and directions have to be taken. If Im going to be a killer custom tattoo artist I have to make a reputation in something or Im doomed to remain floating around in ambiguity for the rest of my career.

This is terrifying. I love drawing things! Everything!

Well, funny story...

I had the good fortune to run into someone last month who is far more established than I in their creative endeavors. She and her husband have been successfully running a fine art studio here in Portland OR for about 5 years or so now and over a few Miller highlife's I finally broke down and asked her;

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO?"

She basically said "if something awful happened, and you could no longer do the things you loved anymore, what would hurt the most? What is the one thing you cant live without?"

...So in about two seconds this stranger (albeit a very nice and generous one) held up a mirror and let me know Ive had the answer all along.

Im a fucking idiot.

So, I think Im going back to the beginning. When I was a little kid I drew bugs and monsters. When other artists used to ask me what I 'did' I always say (with no hesitation) 'I draw bugs and monsters'.

So, thats what Im going to be doing more of. I love LOVE tattooing, why the hell am I so worried about learning to paint in oil? If I aim to do solid, awesome art and tattoos that Im interested in (and better at) and show that work off, then (in theory) people begin to recognize me as someone who is good at the things I like to do. Right?

Yeah, I can do other things too, but only when they're too awesome to refuse, but in the mean time...